Therapeutic support
How I can help
As a Therapeutic counsellor, I can support you through your difficult times using a variety of therapeutic techniques to help you cope with issues such as, grief and loss, anxiety, work or life stress, relationship issues, depression, low mood & menopause distress. While also building resilience and promoting your mental well-being and healing.
Therapy for men
Recognise, understand, change
Every person is unique and has their own challenges and opportunities in life. This is true for both sexes; but for men of all ages, the lines of masculinity are blurred today and there are many new societal challenges to contend with. Just as water needs hydrogen and oxygen in its state of becoming, so too do men need strength and vulnerability. Not only can the two exist within the same vessel, but vulnerability requires strength and is a powerful act of courage and authenticity. The problem has never been man’s capacity to feel but societies willingness to allow him to express those feelings. Working together we can identify and move towards achieving the goals and expectations you hold for yourself, the life you want and the man you want to become.
People pleasing, fawn response
Out of the woods
On the surface, pleasing people seems like a really nice thing to do, but when we do this all the time, it can become a very destructive force in our lives. and leave us feeling like we can't see the wood for the trees...
When we hold beliefs such as, "I should put my partner first, otherwise I am selfish" or " If I don't go out with my friends when they ask, I'm a bad friend" it can make us behave in ways that are at odds with how we truly feel. Always trying to please everybody else, and often ending up feeling like, no one actually see’s or appreciates our efforts.
Most of us have heard the saying, “you can’t please all of the people, all of the time” and this is very true.
After all, If you truly believe you are a bad friend if you don’t go out tonight, but you should also put your partner first and they want you to stay home with them tonight, you really couldn't please all of these people.
This is where I come in, I can support you to understand why you hold those beliefs and work with you to help you recognise and change past patterns and unconscious behaviours that prevent you from achieving your full potential, as a friend, as a partner or in any aspect of your life.
Therapy in nature
Investing in the whole
Walking in nature supports our mental health, increasing serotonin and helping to regulate our nervous system. Physically & mentally engaging activities such as meditation, breathwork and orientation involve focusing on how the body feels, helping us to recognise areas in which we are holding trauma.
Some clients may prefer to receive therapy in nature, as it offers a more relaxed and natural feeling to our work. I offer this service to clients after an initial contracting session. I also offer support with meditation, breathwork and orientation practices. As part of a combined approach to promote deeper integration of thoughts and feelings, leading to better emotional regulation skills.
Rescuing others, Diminishing your needs
Fixing & Hyper-independence
Feeling compelled to fix other peoples big feelings or shut conflict down quickly, when your friends, family or colleagues get heated or disagree with each other, is often an unconscious learned survival skill.
This can look like, feeling uncomfortable when others are upset or angry, so you to try to make it okay for everyone by fixing the issue or by trying to lighten the mood with humour even when it's a serious situation.
The flip side of fixing, can be that you struggle or refuse to ask for help, even when you could really use some support.
This can look like making your needs small, so you don't burden others or refusing others offers to help or support you, telling them and yourself that you are strong, independent and don't need anyone, which eventually can feel very heavy and lonely.
Trauma informed therapy
Fight, Flight, Fawn, Freeze
When we experience very difficult situations, especially as young children, we often sustain a mental wound. This wound creates a pain like an exposed nerve when something touches upon it. We react defensively as if we were in pain, this mental wound is what we call trauma.
Much in the same way that our nervous system might warn us to yell or pull away, if we had a toothache and someone touched our face, so our nervous system also warns us to react defensively when a mental wound is touched upon.
Because we can’t see these mental wounds and unlike a toothache it isn’t easy to identify where the pain originates from, our nervous system reactions may seem unprovoked or irrational to ourselves and those around us.
Through the building of a safe, collaborative and empowering therapeutic relationship, you can be supported to identify these wounds helping you to understand cause, overcome defensive reactions and reclaim your nervous system.
